8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
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