You're my little dorito
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Your shirt... Was in my pants
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
