so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
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I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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