I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
