Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
