You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize