Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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