you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Randomize
