Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
