I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
