hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
