yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
