Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
