Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I love you. Go after that dick
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
