I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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