she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
