highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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