he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
