yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
