having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?