Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss

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  (248): yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss http://tfl.nu/k4jz
  Replies (4) Good night (1219) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.

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  (540): i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it. http://tfl.nu/oanm
  Replies (10) Good night (1029) Bad night (3120)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.

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  (212): I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland. http://tfl.nu/ca0n
  Replies (71) Good night (29947) Bad night (1649)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.

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  (856): I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good. http://tfl.nu/o2i1
  Replies (13) Good night (1419) Bad night (3603)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.

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  (530): It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him. http://tfl.nu/ayo2
  Replies (8) Good night (2530) Bad night (1169)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.

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  (312): Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees. http://tfl.nu/fk9m
  Replies (5) Good night (2563) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  "can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time

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  (973): "can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time http://tfl.nu/xrvp
  Replies (12) Good night (2947) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.

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  (740): I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs. http://tfl.nu/ltie
  Replies (3) Good night (1226) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"

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  (701): I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day" http://tfl.nu/o3b3
  Replies (2) Good night (1078) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.

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  (317): This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me. http://tfl.nu/qrey
  Replies (3) Good night (961) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.

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  (207): We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night. http://tfl.nu/i415
  Replies (2) Good night (861) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.

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  (936): Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life. http://tfl.nu/qbmn
  Replies (6) Good night (774) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.

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  (805): Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch. http://tfl.nu/6qlc
  Replies (6) Good night (781) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, where are you?

  (928): View more from Arizona

  In back

  (928): View more from Arizona

  of car

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  ... whose car?

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  (901): Dude, where are you? (928): In back (928): of car (901): ... whose car? http://tfl.nu/bog4
  Replies (0) Good night (680) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.

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  (720): Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober. http://tfl.nu/9fj5
  Replies (2) Good night (314) Bad night (561)

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