just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.