Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms

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(631): View more from New York

If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."

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(334): View more from Alabama

how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.

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(407): View more from Florida

the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.

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(210): View more from Texas

You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...

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(407): View more from Florida

I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes

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(850): View more from Florida

He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him

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