allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.