Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
