Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me

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  (248): if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me http://tfl.nu/fz0a
  Replies (9) Good night (1001) Bad night (1127)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.

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  (606): Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier. http://tfl.nu/kkf1
  Replies (16) Good night (1920) Bad night (563)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?

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  (908): i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking? http://tfl.nu/grwd
  Replies (2) Good night (1081) Bad night (549)
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  (353): View more from

  Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.

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  (353): Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila. http://tfl.nu/uacf
  Replies (10) Good night (4217) Bad night (828)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job

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  (856): Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job http://tfl.nu/pld4
  Replies (19) Good night (1217) Bad night (4233)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.

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  (269): So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing. http://tfl.nu/disx
  Replies (22) Good night (2527) Bad night (6308)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.

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  (337): There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back. http://tfl.nu/dznq
  Replies (6) Good night (4620) Bad night (1187)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.

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  (336): Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape. http://tfl.nu/9ahj
  Replies (3) Good night (3240) Bad night (908)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.

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  (570): My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station. http://tfl.nu/3ja7
  Replies (16) Good night (4194) Bad night (1810)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.

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  (630): What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday. http://tfl.nu/1egp
  Replies (4) Good night (1611) Bad night (583)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe

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  (561): at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe http://tfl.nu/jv4z
  Replies (4) Good night (1288) Bad night (1602)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine

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  (703): Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine http://tfl.nu/dwth
  Replies (5) Good night (1089) Bad night (574)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.

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  (425): I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways. http://tfl.nu/uinc
  Replies (3) Good night (811) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up

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  (403): that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up http://tfl.nu/icv6
  Replies (2) Good night (753) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.

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  (703): You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk. http://tfl.nu/3xuk
  Replies (0) Good night (754) Bad night (232)

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