I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
