he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
