idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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