I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
