so explain again why im purple
no
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
