I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
