I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
