if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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