I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
