My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
