we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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