I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
