quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
