If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
