I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
