I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
