I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
