My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize