just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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