sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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