clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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