He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
