I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
