Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
