She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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