forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
