my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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