you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
