just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
