That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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