butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
