i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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