theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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