Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize