He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
