everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
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You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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