Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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