DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
