I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
