I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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